My husband is angry at mother for no reason and breaks things at home!

Patient: My husband is angry at mother for no reason and breaks things at home to show his anger. My mother has no where to go. What should I do ?

Optional Information
Gender: Female
Age: 33
Already Tried: Hi,
I have tried everything. I have spoken to my husband about being nice and patient with my mother. My mother lives with us. She has no where to go. She is not making an income.

My husband ignores her, sometimes screams at her and make scandals in front our daughter. My daughter started hating my mother because of him. What should I do ?

Kylie

Doctor: Hi,

Thanks for asking your question at Health.is.edu !

I would sit down with your husband and let him know that you understand that he is angry but that your mother has no where to go. Let him know you understand that it can be stressful adding another member to the household but that his display of anger is not acceptable or appropriate. Ask him what he feels is a good solution to the problem so that everyone will be happy.

Is he able to help pay for a low income apartment for your mother? Is she receiving Social Security, is she disabled, or can she work and is just looking for a job? If she is disabled then help her apply for disability income so she can move nearby in a low income apartment. If she is elderly then there are many options for low income seniors and even if she is not there are options. You can try contacting the local housing authority and find out your options for her. Together you and your husband should be able to come up with a solution.

I hope this helps. Let me know if I can assist anymore.

-Mark

Patient: Hi Mark,

Thank you for your response. The problem is that the problem is not only with my mother. He tends to get angry at me also when he does not get his way. I am afraid he has a mental disorder. What should I do ?

Thanks,

Kylie

Doctor: I would request he seek treatment. Anger is usually a symptom of something else going on such as depression or anxiety. It is just manifesting itself through anger. If he refuses then you need to decide what is best for your, your mother, and your daughter. If you do not feel safe due to his anger then there are shelters for women and children available and this may give him time to seek treatment.

Mark

Patient: Hi Mark,

Thanks. I just wanted to tell you that his family also has some problems. They are angry with each other. I think he needs therapy. Do you counsel people ? Also, where are those centers for women and children ?

Thanks,

Kylie

Doctor: He would probably do best with face to face counseling or even an anger management group once he is evaluated by a psychiatrist for the other conditions that could be causing the anger such as depression. There are some on-line therapy sites and can be found by searching for “online therapist”.

The women and children shelters are found by calling the police or the local domestic violence shelter. They will not give you the address but if you decide to go that route they will pick you up at a safe location and drive you to the shelter where they can keep you safe while he seeks treatment.

Mark